Photo by Ray S on Unsplash
Starting first to be as best of friends might be one of the best ways in molding a good relationship between two individuals of the opposite sex.
With that being said, it can serve as one of the steps how to know the character and behavior of each of the parties in question.
The parties can already adapt to each of one’s likes and dislikes. How the parties behave, how they communicate and, be familiar with each other. How they can show respect and trust one another. When the time comes that they decide to get into a more solid relation, they will do it without a bit of confusion and they are ready to build together a foundation of a stronger union. And live happily ever after as a couple.
In the early days, some countries have customary arranged marriages between maybe neighbor’s children. Might be because they grew in the same neighborhood. They were playing with the same group of children and their parents are friends. In this case, when parents are in the usual community gatherings they started chatting about marrying their sons and daughters which they have to fulfill as agreed. This does not mean to say the marriage will be successful. The son maybe has a girlfriend and the daughter might have also another man that she loves. Marrying two people that are not on the same page is a catastrophe in the end.
In some cultures like the Arabs, cousin to cousin get married as the tradition goes. One reason for it is they want to keep their wealth in their own family. There are anyway visible disadvantages underlying this type of cross marriages. That could result in child abnormality usually.
In India, the practice is the son of the family should have a wife who can pay off the dowry. It depends on how highly educated the guy, the amount of dowry is dictated by it. On the other hand, families with daughters are highly problematic because they are the paying party. They have to work hard to save money for their daughter’s dowry requirements. It is a sad reality that sometimes causes suicidal instincts. Families without money for paying dowry in some cases have to resort to undesirable decisions.
A wife whose dowry was not fully paid ends up being maltreated by her in-laws and this is a true happening. And when their husband dies the unfortunate woman is being forced to burn herself on fire. Nobody gets punished because it is a tradition. And this practice is still enforced in the far-flung villages in India. These types of dowry marriages do not necessarily result in a happy union due to the interference of the husband’s inlaws. The writer has no idea about the current situation regarding the above.
A union of two different entities should come through a complete understanding and the parties should be on the same page. The best so to say, they should be already having even a tested life together before the formal ceremonies. At least they already learned lots of things being together and the formalities serve as the icing.
But wait, some couples who started very young together and produced children already have also the possibility of getting divorced in the future. While getting their matured minds they started growing away from each other. Any of the parties in some ways met a more desirable partner for her or him. The number of years being a couple does not matter at all when that time comes. They part ways and the kids are the ones in limbo. This is a very common situation in the nowadays life.
So what could be the reasons for unsuccessful marriage?
Could it be sexual indifference?
Money?
Why if both of the couples have jobs?
Maybe and very common that the husband has been swimming in another one’s river. That is a very painful truth that the poor wife could endure. And because her trust towards her husband was lost the separation gets imminent. Even at the expense of their small children.
Quite a number of these failed marriages are coming from academics couples who are well economically situated. It is sometimes unbelievable to get information on the many cases currently. If we think about it and they have no problems with money, they have a nice house, nice cars and yet ending up in separation. This writer is having difficulty trying to comprehend.
Might be not a surprise when a couple with little means separate due to reasons of continuous fighting. Yet the children are always the victims.
In the poorer countries, since they have no chance and resources to finance the so-called separation and they don’t have properties to share, the couple tends to stay together. They welcome whatever life brings into their family. Having food on the table they enjoy with grace and they are happy. Their children get an education even with the meager salary or income they could bring to the family. They are satisfied with whatever they possess. They understand each other and live happier than the affluents family.
The parties are loyal to each other (but there can be also hook-ups behind the corner). After all, humans are prone to make mistakes. They are in many ways still happy and forgiving.
Can the above scenarios adjudge money as the root of all evil?
I would say yes and no.
I highly believe that it still depends on the parties involved. Humans became so materialistic and they forgot the so-called humility. They became selfish and do not think any more of the negative outcome of the separation. They forgot that they have a duty to their family. They only wanted their convenience.
So what is the secret of a happy marriage?
A marriage that is conceived with dedication and self-preservation is in the first place better. In this way, both parties are well-prepared for what lies ahead. It is a compromise and agreed by both parties. It is conceived with respect and trust for each other. And this can be seen in marriages of older people, they have no reason to play around. They are more sincere and dedicated to their newfound partner.
Respect in each other’s opinions and when you have that respect you also have the trust coupled with it. Being on the same page in any given situation.
The question comes;
This writer has observed that when a couple gets older some tend to separate. The main target here is companionship. Why and for what reasons do they want separation?
This writer is for example seeking a lifetime companion. The belief is why to be living alone when having a companion could be enjoyable. There is a shoulder to lean on. There is someone to cheer you up when you feel down. Walking along the beach. Maybe play cards and laugh together. Argue who really won the card game. Somebody to comfort you when you have tantrums. Cuddle you when you feel cold. Travel together. Someone who could be at any time of need has the chance to be at hand reach. There is someone to walk with and guide you holding hands. I believe the most important part of marriage life is you’ll have a companion during the twilight days. To have those feelings of security. and camaraderie.
When that happens it could serve as the most gratifying period that could not be paid by any amount of money. The feelings of security and the value of togetherness it brings.
This is the happiest moment of marriage, the real meaning that brings fulfillment in the life of two human beings. This is the sanctity of love and devotion to each other that counts as the most valuable union.
That is why in the pursuit of real happiness we should not forget that companionship is very important. No amount of money can measure up in terms of being peaceful and contented existence before we say goodbye to life.
Narrated above is the secret of a happy marriage.©tmp9/2021
